Teach Your Kids This Before They Cross the Street

Today I was driving to pick up my kids from school when I saw a guy rear-end the vehicle in front of him that had stopped at a red light. There was no rain, no snow, no bad visibility, just a beautiful sunny afternoon and someone simply wasn't paying attention.

Thankfully, what I saw appeared to be a relatively minor traffic accident, but it reminded me how quickly things can go wrong on the road and how much we depend on other people paying attention.

Now think about that same distracted driver approaching a crosswalk where your child is trying to cross the street.

With the school year starting around the world, more kids will be walking to school, walking home in the afternoon, riding their bikes and spending time around school zones. Soon the days will also get shorter, mornings will get darker and visibility will become more challenging in many parts of the world.

This is a good time for parents to have a simple conversation with their kids about traffic safety, because there is one lesson I think every child should understand:

Never assume a driver sees you just because they are supposed to stop.

A Crosswalk Doesn't Automatically Mean You're Safe

I recently made a video about a particularly dangerous situation involving pedestrians that I think every parent and driver should understand.

One vehicle stops at a marked crosswalk to allow pedestrians to cross, so the pedestrians see the stopped vehicle and naturally assume it is safe to start walking. The problem is that another vehicle approaching in the next lane may continue driving because that driver doesn't see the pedestrians, doesn't understand why the other vehicle stopped or simply isn't paying attention.

The stopped vehicle can actually block everyone's view. The pedestrian may not see the approaching car and the approaching driver may not see the pedestrian until it is too late.

This is why I think we need to teach our kids that having the right of way and actually being safe are two different things. A driver may be required to stop for you, but that doesn't guarantee that they will.

When your child is crossing the street, being right doesn't matter nearly as much as making sure they get safely to the other side.

Teach Kids to Check Every Lane

Most of us grew up hearing the same advice from our parents: look both ways before crossing the street.

That's still good advice, but on a road with multiple lanes it isn't enough. Kids need to understand that one stopped vehicle doesn't mean every other vehicle has stopped too.

If a vehicle stops and lets them cross, teach them to look beyond that vehicle before walking into the next lane. They should check whether another car is approaching, whether someone is turning into the intersection and whether a vehicle coming from behind the stopped car might try to drive around it.

The important lesson is simple: don't assume the next lane is safe just because the first one is.

Make Sure the Driver Actually Sees You

Whenever possible, I think kids should learn to look toward the driver and try to make eye contact before walking in front of a vehicle.

Seeing a vehicle slowing down is a good sign, but you still don't know exactly what that driver is doing. They could be looking at another vehicle, checking a mirror, adjusting something inside the car or looking at their phone.

I want my kids to understand that being able to see a vehicle doesn't necessarily mean the person driving that vehicle has seen them.

A WALK Signal Doesn't Do the Looking for You

The same rule applies at traffic lights.

If the pedestrian signal says WALK, you have the right to cross the street, but you should still look at the traffic before stepping into the intersection.

Drivers run red lights, drivers make turns without noticing pedestrians and sometimes drivers are concentrating so much on finding an opening in traffic that they don't notice someone entering the crosswalk.

Teach your kids that the WALK signal tells them when they are allowed to cross, but their own eyes still need to tell them when it is safe.

Put the Phone Away When Crossing the Street

We talk constantly about distracted driving, but pedestrians can be distracted too.

If your child is approaching an intersection while texting, watching a video or scrolling through their phone, they are giving up some of the attention they should be using to watch traffic. Headphones can create another problem because they may prevent them from hearing a horn, an approaching vehicle or something else happening around them.

Crossing a street only takes a few seconds, so teach kids to put the phone away, look around and give traffic their full attention until they are safely on the other side.

Be Especially Careful Around Large Vehicles

Trucks, buses, delivery vans and even large SUVs can create significant blind spots around a crosswalk.

If a large vehicle stops for your child, another driver approaching in the next lane may have absolutely no idea that a pedestrian is walking in front of it. At the same time, your child may not be able to see that approaching vehicle because the truck or bus is blocking the view.

The same thing happens around parked vehicles. Kids should never suddenly walk into the street from behind a bus, truck, van or anything else that prevents them from seeing traffic clearly.

A very useful rule to teach them is that if you can't see the traffic, don't assume the traffic can see you.

Pay Attention to Turning Vehicles

Intersections can be especially dangerous because drivers have several things competing for their attention at the same time.

A driver making a left turn may be watching oncoming traffic and waiting for an opening, while a driver turning right may be looking toward traffic coming from the opposite direction. Meanwhile, a pedestrian sees the WALK signal and assumes the driver sees them.

That's why kids should learn to watch turning vehicles before and during the entire time they are crossing an intersection instead of only looking before they step off the curb.

Make Your Kids Easier to See

As we move into fall and winter, the mornings will get darker and the sun will set earlier, which means many children will eventually be traveling to or from school when visibility isn't as good as it is right now.

Bright clothing, reflective material on backpacks or jackets and proper lights and reflectors on bicycles and scooters can all help drivers notice a child sooner.

Of course, being visible doesn't replace paying attention, but anything that gives a driver another second or two to see your child and react is worth considering.

Walk the Route With Your Kids

One of the best things parents can do, especially with younger children, is actually walk their route to school with them instead of simply telling them to "be careful."

Look at the route from your child's perspective and point out the places where they need to pay extra attention. Show them intersections where cars frequently turn, driveways where vehicles may back out, parked cars that block their view and roads where traffic moves faster.

You can even turn it into a conversation while you're walking. Ask your child whether they think it's safe to cross, whether a particular driver has seen them, what might be hidden behind a stopped truck or what they would do if one vehicle stopped but another one kept approaching.

The idea isn't to make children afraid of traffic. It's to teach them how to understand what is happening around them and recognize a dangerous situation before they walk into it.

Drivers Need to Understand This Too

Pedestrian safety isn't only the responsibility of pedestrians and parents.

If you're driving and you see another vehicle stopped near a crosswalk, don't just drive past it because your lane is open. There is probably a reason that vehicle stopped, and there may be a pedestrian directly in front of it whom you cannot see.

Slow down and be prepared to stop, especially around schools, parks, playgrounds, residential neighborhoods and anywhere else you should expect children and pedestrians.

The same applies when you're the driver who stopped. Check your mirrors, and if you see another vehicle approaching dangerously without slowing down, use your horn if necessary to warn the pedestrians before they step into that vehicle's path.

We Need to Teach Awareness, Not Fear

I spend a lot of time around transportation and on the road, and one thing becomes very obvious when you see enough traffic situations: people make mistakes.

Sometimes they're distracted, sometimes they're in a hurry, sometimes they don't see something and sometimes they simply make a bad decision.

We can't teach our kids to control what every driver around them is going to do, but we can teach them not to blindly trust that everyone else will follow the rules.

That's why the lesson I want my own kids to understand is very simple: never cross the street just because a vehicle is supposed to stop for you. Cross when you've looked around, checked the traffic and you're confident it is safe to go.

For those of us behind the wheel, we have an equally important responsibility. Slow down around schools and neighborhoods, put the phone away, pay attention to stopped vehicles and remember that the pedestrian you're approaching is somebody's child, parent, husband, wife, brother, sister or friend.

We all share the same roads, and paying a little more attention to each other can make those roads safer for everyone.

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